Blog Post: Confessions of a Recruiter - Part 4

There are many factors that impact one's chances of getting a job offer. Obviously, having strong qualifications is critical. However, "chemistry" is another very important factor. Most of the time, people hire people whom they like. People they perceive as sincere. People whom they feel will "fit in."

By the time you get an interview, there is little you can do to change or improve your qualifications but there is much you can do to increase your chances of "connecting" with whom you are interviewing.

Handshake: Most people perceive the handshake as an insight into your personality. While that may not necessarily be accurate, it is often the perception. Weak, four fingered handshakes often convey insecurity or shyness. Tightly-gripped overly-strong handshakes may often be perceived as too aggressive and intimidating. Generally, a full, firm handshake, connected in the area between the thumb and forefinger, is perceived as confident and respectful. (Hint: dry off your hand, even if you need to use your clothing. Sweaty handshakes rarely help you).

Eye Contact: It is difficult for most people to maintain effective eye contact with others, especially when speaking. It is usually easier to maintain eye contact when listening. Effective eye contact generally means maintaining the contact for most, but not all of the time. If you never divert your eyes, you are likely to cause discomfort in the other person. If you make little or no eye contact, you are likely to be perceived as disingenuous or deceitful.

Smiling: Again, balance is the key. To much and you may be perceived as not being serious or mocking the other person. Too little and you may be perceived as dull or unfocused.

While these three non-verbal behaviors may be obvious, too often we are unaware of how we are coming across to others. If we are aware, most people find it very difficult to change these behaviors.

So what's the magic answer? Feedback and practice. As with almost any physical behavior, from learning to dance, to throwing a baseball, to swinging a golf club, to knitting a scarf...the process is the same. First you need an accurate understanding of how you are behaving. What does your handshake feel like? How much eye contact do you have? How much are you smiling? The best ways to determine these are for others to tell you, as quickly after you do it as possible. In some cases, the "other" person may need to be your mirror (literally, use a mirror).

Then practice...a lot. Shake hands with others many times. Ask your friends or family to help. It may feel weird at first but it is for a good cause...your career success!

Apply the same process to eye contact. If needed, talk to yourself in a mirror and practice maintaining eye contact. This one you may consider doing in private to avoid others thinking you've "lost it."

This process works just as well for smiling. Smile with others and ask for feedback. Smile at yourself in the mirror while practicing answering interview questions.

After a while, behaviors that first seemed unnatural and awkward will evolve into natural behaviors that you don't even have to think about. They will just happen.

So start your feedback and practice now so you will be ready to nail your next interview.